Yesterday, her ex and father of her two-year-old son, followed her into the basement break room and shot her to death. He then killed himself, I assume because he was a coward.
I wasn't the best of friend with Tranesha, but she touched my life, and for the better. She always encouraged me to be strong, to go for what I wanted, and to get up and enjoy life. The last few times I spoke to her, we were planning a girls' night that never happened. I moved back to Oklahoma; I never got to go out and have a night with a friend who was a bright, brilliant woman, just working to make a better life for her son. I know I can't ever go back and go have that night at the club with Tranesha, but it doesn't matter. How she effected me is still the same. I truly feel that, having known her, I am a better person.
I moved away, from Chicago, from Old Navy, with the plan that I was finally going to get my life started. I moved away planning on putting everything that wasn't concrete behind me and moving forward. I moved away, and all I want right this second is to be back in Chicago, to be back with the friends who are mourning this loss and who will have to return to that store were she had her last breath. I can't imagine what it is like for them, who were still working there, who were still close to her, who still had laughs to have and work to avoid with her. I miss those people terribly. All of a sudden I want to be back in that city, living the life I had, with those people. I want it to be last summer, when we were making plans to be better friends and the sun was shining and there was still life for Tranesha. I want to be with Chetara, who knew her better than I did, and with Nicole, who I wish I was still close to. I miss the way things were before I moved, because it seems to me that the world has just turned upside down these past few months, and right now I want it to stop.
I want to go to her funeral. I want to be there with my friends.
I don't have the money, I can't go. If I had the cash to drop on getting my car up there and back, I would. I know I would have a place to stay, I know I would have people to be with; I want to be with them. But I can't.
Tonight is my best friend's 21st birthday. What I can do is this: I can go and I can do the thing that Tranesha and I talked about. I can have a fun night at the club, be with my best friend, and cherish my life. It seems wrong, but she would have wanted me to go. In fact, I know she would have told me to go, if I had asked her.
What happened to her was the definition of unfair. She did not deserve this fate. Her son does not deserve to be an orphan. She will be terribly missed. My heart goes out to her family, to her mother, to her boy; to her close friends; to all the people at Old Navy. There will never be another like her. So many people have been affected by her love and friendship. Our lives are changed for having known her.
Tonight, I am toasting one to her, and celebrating her life along with three others: Allison's, Amanda's, and mine. Tonight isn't just about the birth of my best friend or the death of a good one. Tonight is about living.
Rest in Peace, Tranesha.
<3
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