Fuck My Life, Eddie

I have this curious tendency of calling my computer by the name of whomever is currently occupying my desktop background.  This year, thus far, it's been Eddie Izzard, and he has taken a beating.

I usually chose something adorable or funny, or a picture of a character I love, because seeing it every day when I open my laptop makes me smile.  I am sure if you've been reading this, you can understand how Eddie Izzard is appropriate.

Last year it was David Tennant as "The Doctor," and true to form, when my computer stopped working sometime in June, I was whining at it "c'mon Doctor!"  Then again, in November, when it began working for some unexplainable reason, its background still being The Doctor, I did a fair share of "c'mon Doctor!" once more.

I find my illusion of my computer's personality tends to mold around the perspective I have of the person displayed on the screen.  Popping out of existence and then suddenly coming back to life is a very Doctor thing to do, isn't it?  Indeed, I believe this to be accurate, because since it's been Eddie, it's behaved very sporadically and has come down with a cold.  I can hardly get it to behave anymore.  I realize that it doesn't want to be a computer, that it would rather go hit things with hammers, but I really need its cooperation today.  I really need its cooperation at all.

When it began working again out of nowhere in November, I took it as a good omen, a sign of good things to come if I could make it work.  But, I didn't make it work.  I didn't take full advantage of that omen.  I let it go to waste, while I lazed around not righting all the wrongs in my life.  And now it's got the karma police on its side.  I didn't take advantage of a good omen, didn't make of it what I should have, and now I have to deal with the shit storm of good energy gone bad.

That sounds very melodramatic.  But, it does make sense, in a sort of Taoist way.

I am probably making a mountain out of a molehill--something I am either fantastic at, or have never been so good at at all.  ("Oh my God, it's a fucking mountain!"  "No, it's a molehill, just bloody step over it!")

But, I do have to deal with this shit, and that is what it is: shit.  Shit because I didn't take action or shit just because, it's shit either way.  Shit has to be dealt with, and good omens need to be taken in full, and computers need to be fixed when they get sick, and some things in life just happen so we'd better suck it up and move on.

Except that things happen for a reason.  Whatever the reason may be, they do.  Maybe my computer is trying to tell me something; maybe I am right about karma coming in computer form; maybe I am not quite on the right track yet, but I have to believe I am getting there.

I have done all I can for my computer, and it looks like all that's left is to save what I can and throw the rest overboard.  Start over.  It can't be that bad, right?  Maybe a good purging is just what the doctor ordered?

Or Eddie ordered.

Or the universe ordered.

Or something ordered, and now I have to execute.

Yeah, That One Got Away From Me.